What's with the eggs??
Max. ???
1 of 7800 >
AU where Sauron literally pours all of his cruelty and malice and will to dominate all life into the One Ring…
And then just fucking stares at at it for five seconds before dropping it on the ground and leaving because without all that stuff he’s Nice now.
Why does this sound like crackfic C.S. Lewis would write just to get back at Tolkien for disapproving of him putting a lamppost in Narnia
4 hours ago with 9,873 notes
thats right we have eyes on our target. you want me to suck the milk out of his cookie? the milk out of his cookie. the cookie hes holding and dipping in the milk. our target is eating the cookie. shall i suck the milk out of it? targets cookie is laden with milk. alert! proceed? proceed with milk evacuation. your orders sir. we have eyes on him sir. milk is in the cookie sir.
5 hours ago with 5,274 notes
damn this bus stop is perfect. now if we could just find somebody to stand upwind of everybody and smoke a decrepit cigarette they found in a tomb
1 day ago with 12,734 notes
she let me hit because i asked and she agreed due to our mutual sexual attraction 😎😎😎😋😋💯💯💯💯💪💪💪💪🛹🛹💥😱😭🪦🌕
?
1 day ago with 15,710 notes
> “mom and pop” store
> look inside
> my parents don’t work there
ALT
1 day ago with 7,877 notes
sorry i made the vibe weird, i can make it weirder if you want?
2 days ago with 14,353 notes
cleaning house canceling a bunch of subs and free trials and shit and this 5-character non-optional complaints section made me scream
3 days ago with 16,368 notes
I hate talking about mental illness because no matter what it comes off like this
3 days ago with 2,545 notes
